Monday, October 27, 2008

I Tried to Blow Up My House

Not on purpose mind you. I set the timer on the microwave to time something in the oven. At least I thought it was just the timer. About 10-15 minutes into the timer the microwave turns off. It just shuts down. Turns out I hadn't set the timer, I had TURNED ON THE MICROWAVE! With NOTHING in it. Hmmmm, thank God my microwave has an automatic shut off if it gets too hot. Otherwise I could have blown up the whole kitchen. Have a good laugh at me. Sad thing is? This isn't the first time I've done it.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

You know you've watched it

You know you've seen Jerry Springer at least once in your life. It wouldn't have been on television as long as it has if people didn't watch it. So I present to you stupid at it's best and breeding more stupid people.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Joe the Plumber

I just have to say that the media have really outdone themselves this time. The poor man simply asked Obama a question and suddenly he is being attacked like some Russian spy in a bad double agent movie.

HELLOOOOOO! I hate to disappoint all of you, but it doesn't matter if the man was a plant or not. (I personally don't think he was.)

Obama answered the question for himself. He's the one that put his neck out there. So I'm sorry if you don't like his answer but it's the one he gave. It's what he stands for. Have you missed that?

So leave Joe the plumber ALONE!!! All he did was ask a freaking question. It's mister "we need a change" that screwed up the answer. Oh wait, maybe he didn't screw it up. Maybe he really did mean that he should tax those that have built their businesses from the ground up and give the money to those that are happy to work at McDonald's the rest of their life. Oops, did I say that? Bad Shelly. Bring on the hate mail.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Easing My Road Rage

I have discovered that this blog is helping me with my road rage issues. Instead of getting mad I find myself thinking that the stupid driver in front of me gives me yet another blog post.

Yesterday I was driving to my aunt's anniversary party. I'm sitting at a red light on a four lane road. (That's four lanes in one direction) I am in the third lane from the right. As the light turns green I notice that the car to my left has their front end in front of me. So I let them over. They then proceed to turn on their RIGHT blinker and try to make their way over two more lanes of traffic in order to reach the right hand turn lane. Normally this wouldn't be such a big deal, but we are TWO CAR LENGTHS from the red light. No sh**. This car is going to cause a huge pile up because they're too f***ing lazy to go down to the next light, make a u-turn, and come back to the road they need to be on. The lady was even holding her hand out the window trying to flag down cars doing 55+ to stop and let them over as the driver proceeded to stick the nose of his small car into their lane.

AAAAAHHHHHHHH! But I avoided an accident and road rage by thinking how much fun I would have venting about it to you folks.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Not a happy camper

So I take my youngest to the doctor to get his check up today. He had to get five shots. GOT THAT? FIVE! He was sort of behind because I have been slack in the check up department. I have four kids, sue me.

So I'm all like, that's a lot for a 19 month old. Couldn't we just spread them out and I'll come back every other month? Oh it's fine, she says. I would do all EIGHT, but really five is the most we give at one time. It's average, no big deal. WHAT?

Then she asks if he still takes a bottle. I'm all like "No he never took one." Her "So does he still breastfeed?" Me "At bedtime." I know, I know. Don't send me hate mail. I NEVER thought I would breastfeed a kid after the age of one. Truth be told, the others only made it to three months.

THEN she says, "I can't believe he's done (breastfeeding) so well since he's tongue-tied." Yes, it's a real condition. But it hasn't seemed to hurt him one bit.

THEN she says, "He's in the 50% of his age group. Is he drinking any whole milk?" NO!
"You really should be giving him whole milk to help him gain weight. I would feel better knowing he was getting all of those nutrients."

WTF! Isn't breastmilk suppose to be best for babies? So I'm suppose to stop with the breastfeeding and give him COW'S MILK? So I can what? FATTEN HIM UP!?!
Did I miss something? The boy eats anything you put in front of him. Fruits, veggies, meat, desserts, everything-AND I told her this. But I'm suppose to give him cow's milk to fatten him up and this from the woman who is about to inject five different chemicals into his little body and then play guess which one causes the allergic reaction if there is one.

I'm not an extremist but that shit just makes me want to up and join a commune!!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

This Says It All

I had a post all ready for today and I didn't write it down so now it's lost somewhere in the dark, dank, vastness of my ever shrinking brain. So now I'm at a loss for words, but WTH, Bring It ON!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Made me do a double take

I drove past a church today with a sign out front that made me wonder, are the marquees in front of churches for the people that go to that church or for those who don't?
I wonder this because here's what it said: "Remember you are not someone special. You are a sinner saved by grace."

I think I get the point that they were trying to make, however, if you attend that church then wouldn't a sermon on Sunday be more appropriate? And if it's for those that don't attend church, I don't believe that statement is going to have people breaking down the doors to get in.

I understand that as Christians we should remember that we are not owed the forgiveness that Christ died for, it is a gift. But obviously we are someone special or else HE wouldn't have died for us at all.

Just thought that they were shooting themselves in the foot with this one.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Stupid Signs Abound

Maybe this was the sign the driver in front of me was reading the other day. Of course it also goes with something that happened when I was little.

My mom got caught going the wrong way down a one way street. The cop told her, "This is a one way street" Her response was "I was only going one way."

Thankfully we were out of town and the cop had a sense of humor.

Please Do It!!

I live in a small town that is near the state line, so we have a lot of 18 wheelers that go through town. This morning I was pulling up to the red light and there was a shiny, red, low-rider truck in front of me and an 18 wheeler in front of him. The 18 wheeler was attempting a right hand turn. The red truck pulled right up behind him and I stayed back about 20-30 feet. You see there is a utility pole on the right and it is very hard for a large truck to turn there without having to back up. Low and behold the 18 wheeler starts backing up. I sit and wait for the red truck to back up. I wait and wait. The 18 wheeler is getting closer and closer to the red truck. Finally, just when I think he's going to get squished, he backs up. A little. Now remember I've left about 2-3 car lengths between him and me, so there's plenty of room. He just refuses to move.

I know it sounds mean, but I was almost anxiously awaiting the crunch. I didn't want anyone to get hurt, just some metal cracked. When the red truck finally turns I see inside a teenage boy driver. UGH! I was tempted to pull up beside him and offer him a stupid sign. Hee Hee.