Saturday's Stupid Signs

Now you know you want to hang this in your office. LOL And you know that you know people you wish you could have set on fire. :)


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As opposed to what? If you need this sign then you SHOULD NOT be driving. Hell, you probably shouldn't even come out of your house.

Have you seen?

Have you seen the new Burger King commercial for their apple fries? It shows 'the king' coming home to his family. Him in his kingly robes and giant plastic head to his normal wife and daughter and his little plastic head son.

The bottom of the screen reads "Dramatization"

I'm sorry. I didn't realize that there were people out there that thought the king with the plastic head was real. Come on. It's really necessary to put this? Of course I hate to point out that if there are people that need to read it then they are only going to assume that it means that perhaps those aren't the king's REAL family, just actors.

Fast Food Workers

have you been in a fast food place lately? Is it just me or are these people getting dumber? Or maybe they just don't care. When I go inside and order the first thing I tell the person is whether it's "for here" or "to go". And almost every freakin' time they get done taking my order and ask "Is that for here?" WHAT? I'm sorry, did you miss the beginning of the conversation? It's not like they ask "You said for here, right?" NOPE. They are legitimately asking a question I've already answered.

Secondly, I went through the drive thru a few weeks ago and get this. I didn't get someone elses order. I got half of my order with a receipt that was someone elses. The kicker is that the receipt didn't match ANYTHING in the bag. I mean not ONE freakin' thing. Hello! I mean come on, if you're going to mess up the order at least have the receipt match something in the bag.

Not sure if this is a stupid or just a pain in the a$$. But I had to vent.

Commercial

So I'm watching tv last night and that new Quizno's commercial comes on. The one where the person is eating the $5.00. If you haven't seen it, it talks about "there's a better way to eat $5. The new $5 footlong." or something like that. There's one commercial that shows a lady eating a $5 bill. The one I saw last night shows a dude eating a roll of coins (with $5 written on the side).

Guess what it says on the bottom of the screen in small print? DO NOT ATTEMPT.
Once again. This is necessary? The only people I know that are going to try this aren't old enough to know how to read anyway. Are we now officially a society of idiots?

WHAT?

Message received on my CELL PHONE VOICE MAIL
"Hey if you're there pickup. If you can hear me please pick up. Hello? Hello? Are you there? Please pick up."
I'm speechless.

Again Warning Labels

Do not put child in basket. Remove child before folding.---These were on a stroller. And this is a problem? Well Sally's in the seat so let's put Tommy in the basket. (Tommy goes crashing to the ground) Guess I should have read the warning label. Hurry up get in the car. I'll put the stroller in the back. (An hour later) where's Tommy?

Do not use while sleeping. --On a hairdryer. I know I always sleepdry my hair. Forget sleep walking. I can set the house on fire in my sleep.

For external use only --On a curling iron I don't even want to know why they had to put that. OMG!

Insanity

SO I've been trying to do all these changes in my life. Like how I handle stress, how I clean the house, how much I eat. . . etc.
I've decided that the definition of insanity is completely correct. Insanity is doing the exact same thing over and over and expecting different results.

How many of us are smacking our heads against the brick wall and then wondering why we have a headache?

My four year old keeps running through the house in her socks (on hardwood floors) and still wonders why she's constantly falling on her butt.

Side note: Have you seen the lady that squashes beer cans with her (giant) boobs? How do you discover this talent? And how many times has she knocked herself out with those boobs?

On that America's Got Talent, there was a guy who did animal noises. He said he learned from going home and sitting in the closet and practicing. So what? He's out of the closet now? After hearing his sucky imitations I'm thinking it's time for him to go back in the closet.

Ever notice

Do you ever notice the men on the side of the highway sitting down on their suitcase with their thumb out?
Yes, I know they're called hitchhikers. Ever pick one up? Come on confess. Ok maybe not.
My thing is if you're really trying to get somewhere then start walking. If I see you making an effort to get where you're going then maybe I'll pick you up and help you out. If you're just sitting on your a** then just keep sitting. Maybe you'll get there by osmosis. :)

Again with

the warning labels. Label on a Razor scooter: this object moves while in use.
No S***! It's a scooter, it has WHEELS!

Just Confess

I watched this show called Speeders last night. It's all about the stupid things people say when the cop pulls them over for speeding. Most of them sit there dumbfounded.

This one lady was pulled over for not yielding to pedestrians and for not wearing your seat belt. They were in California. The lady's response to the seat belt was "Well I'm from Minnesota and we don't have to wear seat belts there. I think it should be my decision as to whether I wear the seat belt or not. It's my life." WHAT?

Her response to almost running someone over was "he(the pedestrian) waved me by."
Well DUH lady. He didn't want to get run over and you were obviously going to make the turn whether he was there or not. Hello?

Of course you know the pedestrian guy is laughing his ass off when she gets pulled over. Cuz you know you would be too.

I think there should be signs for your cars that say "Caution: stupid driver, proceed with defensive driving." Kind of a take off from Bill Enval.