ROFLMAO

What?

I'm watching this commercial where this lady bites a pair of golf clubs and bends them in half. Then she ribs the convertible top off a car with her teeth. Then tears a tire into shreds. All with her teeth. It's an orbitz gum commercial.
Here's the kicker. Half way through the commercial, in small print, it says Do Not Attempt.
WHAT? Do Not Attempt. Helloooo? Is this necessary? And if it is, do you think those stupid people are reading the tiny little letters at the bottom of the screen? NOOOOO. They're sitting there thinking "Hey cool. If I get some Orbitz gum then I'll have Superteeth. Hey dude, let's go get some, I wanna go rip the tires off Bob's car."
Again, I'm like WHAT?

Name on Card

So I'm talking to a biz friend the other day on the phone and she starts cracking up. I'm like 'what what?'
You know when you fill out a credit payment form online and it says Name On Card?
How many of you realize that means YOUR name? No really. It wants you to put the name of the person who is listed on the card.
Know what? Some people have put: Chase, Bank of America, American Express Blue

How do you do Mr. Blue? Do you go by American Express or just American or is it A.E.?
Come on. You know it's funny.
Makes you just shake your head and smile, doesn't it?

My Own Stupid

How many of you have ever had dirty dishes in the sink and company will be there in 5 minutes? Confession time: How many of you shove the dirty dishes in the oven for temporary cleaning?
I'm sure I'm not the only one guilty of this. Come on, I know at least a handful of you have done it.
Well, note to self, DO NOT DO THIS AGAIN! Burnt plastic is not a smell you want first thing in the morning. All I have to say is praise God that the plastic wasn't sitting directly on the oven racks. But I don't think there will be a next time. LOL

Phone calls

Ever have this happen to you?
You're sitting at home and someone calls. During the call you tell the person you need to go so call back in a few minutes. Their response is sure, are you home?
What?!? You called me remember.

Warning Labels

Have you ever looked at a warning label and thought "Why is that warning necessary?"
I'll tell you why, because someone actually tried it! Why else would manufacturers have to put such stupid warnings? They have to protect themselves from those around us that only use 1 % of their brain.
Examples: On the back of a tube of hemorrhoid cream- "Do not eat"
On a bottle of baby lotion "For external use only"
On an aerosol cleaning can "Do not store above 120 degrees"
Are these actual problems?
'Hey let's put this cream on a bagel and see how it tastes.'
'Sarah's got a sore throat, let's put some lotion in her throat and see if that helps.'
I don't have a quote for the last one but-where in YOUR HOUSE gets up to 120 degrees (besides the oven). If it's over 120 in your house then you don't need aerosol cleaners you need a freakin air conditioner!